This made me sad til I read the last line!

Columbus, OH (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Franklin County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the University of Michigan Wolverines, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

grandaddy of invention: Edison

Declaration

I just wanted to say...

I heart Portland. For realsies.

Portland, here I come!

Heads up to ya'll Portland kids: I'm going to be in P-town from August 25th to Sept 3rd. I'm in a wedding (yikes!) so I'm not sure how my schedule is gonna look, but I know I'll have some sort of free time and I'd love to catch up and maybe get a meal or a drink somewheres. Afterwards, I'm headed up to Seattle to see the siblings, but I may stick around because Velella is playing a Portland show on Sept 7th at the Holocene. More details to come. Can't wait! The weather here is hitting triple digits. WTF?!?

Thought this was a Good One!

OHIO Friends!!Why OHIO friends are the best.. and this is sooo effin true! :)

OTHER FRIENDS: Never ask for food
Ohio FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

OTHER FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
OHIO FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.

OTHER FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
OHIO FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we fucked up...but that shit was fun!"

OTHER FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
OHIO FRIENDS: Cry with you.

OTHER FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
OHIO FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

OTHER FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
OHIO FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

OTHER FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
OHIO FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

OTHER FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
OHIO FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

OTHER FRIENDS: Are for a while.
OHIO FRIENDS: Are for life.

OTHER FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
OHIOFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste!!"

OTHER FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
OHIO FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!

OTHER FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
OHIO FRIENDS: Will repost this

Ultimate Transplant

The value of my house just went up a few thousand dollars because GREG ODEN is moving to town. We all know that natives love Ohioans, but now the have a reason to not actually move to Ohio. I know you were thinking about it when you saw LeBron James make the Pistons look limp. Just wait...next June you can see LeBron and Oh-den square off in the ultimate battle of Transplants Vs Native in next years NBA finals, with the Blazers winning of course. Winning championships is not what Cleveland is about, but getting close is.

Who doesn't love cute animals?

This may just be the cutest 26 seconds of your day.

p.s. - Mr. Fancypants lost his case! Yay for justice.

4th of July

Hi All,Don't know what all's going on for the 4th of July, but i DO know that some lucky ones have the day off. Erin and I are moving into our new place this Sunday, Right downtown on the water, and RIGHT by the fireworks, and we were thinking about having everybody over to check out the new digs have some drinks, make some food, and walk down to see the fireworks. The More the Merrier. I'm thinking around 6 for food and drink and then walk down to the water to stake out a spot.I would post this on the transplant/native blog, but the blog won't let me. Interested? Hit me up so that we know what to expect.
Brian

New Releases

White Stripes out now, Nine in Nails out now, Queens of the Stone Age out now, Smashing Pumpkins 7/10, Interpol 7/10, Social Distortion (greatest hits) 6/26, Tupac early tapes out now, Killers out now, Kings of leon out now, Marilyn Manson out now, Tori Amos out now, !!! out now, Ataxia (John Frusciante) out now, Metric 6/26, Pearl Jam Live at the Gorge 6/26, Iron and Wine 7/10.

Did I leave anyone out?

Mr. Fancy Pants

Did you hear the one about the judge who's suing a dry cleaner for $54 million for misplacing his pants? No, seriously. Like for reals. Well the trial started on Tuesday... and he's already cried in court. He's also called a witness, an 89-year-old woman, who compared the Korean dry cleaners to Nazi Germany. Also, the judge for the trial is named Judith. You put that one together.

Now if only I was able to help the dry cleaners with their legal bills. Oh wait...

*Insert sardonic comment about our crumbling joke of a legal system here*

p.s. In case that wasn't enough comic relief for you, please to enjoy...